When you least expect it

So I've been attempting the wide world of online dating again for the last few months. I went out with a couple guys, but none of them was what I was looking for. I finally gave up again and decided to focus on me and my goals.

Just over a week ago, I ran into an old friend. I shared with her that I was so excited that I finally have career goals and a clear path how I want to get there. It took me 31 years to have goals other than finding a husband and starting a family. I'm growing up at last! The next day, Saturday to be exact, I was driving around town running some errands and I remember thinking about dating and that I really wasn't interested anymore with trying to find someone and that it was me time. I was finally ok with it all and truly meant it. I've never felt that way before, truly ok with where my life is going, it was a huge revelation in my life!

But as always, God has a funny sense of humor! My next errand was to get my oil changed so I pull into Jiffy Lube and found a spot in the waiting room to do just that, wait. After I had sat there for quite awhile and I was hoping my car was about done, a guy walks in and starts up a conversation with me. It all started because I was wearing a Templeton Rye tshirt! At first, I kind of tried to blow him off because I'm not a big fan of waiting room chit chat. He wouldn't give up though and kept talking. Finally about 15 minutes later my car was finally done and I was headed out the door. I'm not sure what possessed me to do it, but before I left, I handed the guy my card and told him to call or email me sometime! I then went to meet up with some co-workers and I told them as I walked in the door, "I think I met a guy at Jiffy Lube!"

Now, just over a week, three dates later and all my friends telling me, "I told you so," I finally get what they were talking about when they said it would happen when you least expect it! And I'm so glad it did! I'm so excited to see where this will all go...

Stay tuned!

The Average Girl Gives Online Dating Another Try

This isn't my first venture down this road of online dating, but this time I'm hoping to explore more of the scenery and see what else is out there. I first tried online dating and met one guy that I dated briefly...several times... I gave it another try a year ago and went on 3 dates in one week that all turned out to be total duds. This time I'm hoping for something a step better than the last 2 trys!

I'm convinced there are only 3 types of guys out there on these sites and it's a tough job sorting through them all! I would wager that about 75% of the men are only looking for a quicky, 14% are crazies and 1% is actually one of the good guys! I've been propositioned so many times now that I half wonder if I just shouldn't start my own phone-sex line or become a professional sexter. With the number of guys out there looking for sex, I really might make some good money!

I'm going to tackle this self imposed challenge head on! So far, I've sent 23 messages to men on one site in the past week. Of those 23, I've gotten only three responses. That percentage isn't so good... I have gotten several IMs from guys that either wanted a "fun time" or were total crazies. The craziest was the guy that offered to be my personal slave! I very quickly scrambled to find the block button!

So lets see where this goes. I'll keep sending messages, IMing and trying new free sites and see if anything comes of it.

If you have any suggestions of good sites to try, please let me know. But be forewarned, don't try sending me to a site that is not good quality or for people only looking for "activity partners;" I want quality sites that something serious actually might be possible!

What happened to the day when men were men and women were swept off their feet? Have we really fallen so far that we have to resort to sifting through post after post, photo after photo, profile after profile to find the few non-sex addicts or totally crazies that are out there? The answer...apparently so...sad...

The Average Girl is on the hurt for the Good Guys

I had hoped that over the past couple of months, I would have written more about the good guys in my life which actually I have, I just forgot to post my writings! Sadly though I have recently taken a turn for the worse in the search for the good guys and it is hard for me now to focus on them right now. All my mind wants to think about is how my trust in good guys was pummeled by a guy that I thought really was a good guy…wow, I think I was way off base on that one! I may need to get my good guy radar looked at.

But let’s not dwell on that, at least not tonight. I need happy thoughts so let’s get back to the good guys…

There are many good guys that have come and gone throughout the years and though my previous post may appear that I had a male issue when I was younger, I did not. I simply was not friends with many guys and never really took the time to get to know them and vise versa. Growing up I was a total girly girl and all my friends were the girls from my scout troop and the one other girl that lived next door until she moved away when I was in second grade. The boys in my neighborhood picked on me as much as my brother and one even decapitated my favorite Barbie doll…that was a traumatizing day… Though there have been “meanies” in my life, none have made me a man hater by any means! I’m just the girl that got shy around boys for longer in life than most girls. And let’s face it; around guys I really like, I still turn into a shy girl rather than the social butterfly I normally am!

So who are the good guys? How can we tell when we have met them? They are all the guys in my grown up life that have been a friend, love interest or brief encounter that when I think back about them, I can’t help but smile! They are the guys that remind me to keep hoping that I will some day find a guy like them that will realize that I’m one of the good girls and that we are meant to share our lives. They are the good guys that have the big muscles to help me move; the wonderful arms that wrap around me when I’ve had a bad day or trying to avoid someone else; the strong voices that provide words of wisdom when I need it or stand up for me to the not-so-good guys that try to hurt me. They are my brothers from another mother!

What makes a good guy? I really wish I knew because then I would go out and search for them everywhere and hopefully have better luck in finding them. The good guys I have know all have a few characteristics in common though. They all have a good heart, believe in love, are willing to put themselves out there for others, I can always call any of them and they won’t ask why I need them, they will just say “I’m on my way.” Take My Car Husband for instance; he has been there for me in my darkest hours. He’s given me free access to his home when I felt that I had nowhere else to go. He’s give me car advice every time I’ve called and sadly sometimes that’s the only reason I call him lately… He even gave me his truck one week while my car was in his buddies shop getting fixed and carpooled to work with his wife though they didn’t work on the same schedule most days. He’s a big guy that could scare about anyone if he wanted to, but to those that know him, he’s a huge teddy bear that will do anything for those that he loves.

Then there is Mr Perfect. He’s not perfect, because lets face it, none of are, but he’s pretty darn close. He is smart, adventurous, attractive, not willing to change who he is for anyone, and willing to help just about anyone in need. He is the guy that I have literally called to do the craziest things for me and he’s never said no. He’s helped me move a friend that he personally didn’t care for, but did because I asked. He came to my rescue when the guy I was crushing on was coming over to my house for “movie night” and I needed at least one other guy there since it was just going to be me, the crush and a girl friend and it just seemed like it was going to be awkward. I called Mr Perfect in hysterics and he just said “fine, I’m on my way.” He’s also stayed by my side when the latest guy in my life showed up at an event and I did not want to see him since we had recently had a harsh break up. Mr Perfect just sat by my side and kept me talking and even found ways for me to get away when I needed to. He’d be the prefect boyfriend if only we were into each other that way…I wonder why I don’t like him like that…hmmm…

Oh, and I have to tell you about Puppy! Now this one is amusing. Puppy is 11 years younger than me and like the little brother I never had. We call him Puppy because he has a tendency to fall into puppy love with girls. He also has a thing for cougars but that has nothing to do with why he’s on the good guys list. He’s on the list because he has a huge heart and puts it out there for everyone to see. He is always there for me with a hug, kind word, or threats to beat up any guy that may hurt me. He’s a hopeless romantic that I find myself envying and pitying all in the same breath. In some ways he’s more of a girl than me when it comes for the endless quest for love. I wish he could find a good girl his own age that would let him dote on her the way he wants to dote on all girls. I will make a good prince charming for some girl some day when he grows up. Right now, he needs to focus on college rather than his crush that I fear will only break his heart over and over again.

I could go on and on with all the good guys I’ve known but I fear you will be bored with all my babbling. I just want to make sure we all take a minute to remember that not everyone out there will break our hearts. I personally need to be reminded of this regularly or else I am very likely to become a bitter young woman and none of us wants that!

As a good, yet cynical friend recently told me; all men can be a jerk, but then again so can us girls. Stop, look, listen…there is something good there in all of us.

This one time, when life was so not average!

This one time, when I finally figured out how to golf…
This one time, when I had race cars come at me from all different directions...
This one time, when I really thought a tornado was going to get me…
This one time when I finally got to taste bootleg rye whiskey…
This one time, when our hotel flooded…
This one time, when my life was so not average!

The weekend started out in a relatively average way with movie night with some co-workers. Saturday morning came early but it was still an average drive to the golf course in an average little Iowa town 3 hours away. The golf tournament was also pretty average until a friend started giving me tips, suddenly it wasn’t average anymore! I learned years ago the sure fire way to hit the ball straight almost every time, but now I can hit it straighter and further with a lot more consistency. I also improved my short game and may finally be able to resemble a real golfer! When I join the Women’s PGA, I’m bring B along as my coach!

After golfing we hopped in the car and headed off to an even more average, smaller Iowa town to the figure 8 races which are run by the local chapter of the young professionals group I belong to. I have never been to a race before and I had no idea what I was about to experience! As visiting State Board members, we were immediately escorted out onto the platform in the middle of the track to watch the races. If you have never been to a figure 8 race, you’re probably wondering how this could be all that big of an experience. Well let me draw you a picture. The track itself is really not that big, the width of the lane is about the size of a small gravel road or a bit wider than a regular single lane of an interstate. The entire track is mud, this time it was pretty packed down and kind of dryish, but I was told it is usually really muddy and slippery. From one end of the figure 8 to the other is a quarter mile and the distance is a half mile per lap. During each race, there are 8 cars on the track I believe, don’t quote me on that though! They are slipping and sliding all over the place as they speed around this mess. When the first race started, my eyes had to have been the size of dinner plates! I didn’t know which way to look; I couldn’t take it all in fast enough! All I keep thinking was, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD! I was sure they would slam into each other any second or one would go up off the track and take out our little wooden platform that I stood in the middle of turning in circles trying to see everything at once. It was a total sensory overload!

After the races were shut down abruptly due to a storm coming in, we got off the track to find out that it wasn’t just a severe thunderstorm but rather a tornado warning. We didn’t notice, but off in the distance the sky was as dark as midnight and the wind started picking up fast. We decided to head over to the hotel to check in and see what was going on. As we were pulling out of the parking lot, the police officer that was directing traffic was shouting at the top of his lungs “TAKE COVER!” We sped up and raced down the road to the hotel and around back and came to a stop in the middle of the parking lot. My friend tells us to get out and as I get out of the car, the dust from the parking lot is blowing up into my face, I turn to my friend and tell her to get out of the car. There may have been a few explicit words in there too as my panic set in and I didn't want to leave my friend behind to park the car. I fear what I may have seen if I had looked up at that moment. We ran into the hotel and straight down the stairs to the basement. I was sure the windows were going to blow in any second and we were all going to be taken off to Oz with Toto. I tried desperately to call my brother so that someone would know where I was at since really no one, except those I was with, knew that I was in this little town in the middle of no where! After an hour or so of some intense storms we sat back and breathed finally feeling safe that we weren’t going to meet the Lollipop Gang any time too soon.

As we sat in the basement of the hotel, the owners were handing out beers and we all were starting to relax and getting to know the other guests. One of my friends, not a beer drinker, passed on the beers they keep offering and when they asked what she drank, she casually mentioned that her drink of choice was Templeton Rye (a rye whiskey made in rural Iowa). Awhile later one of the owner’s comes over to us and asks who the Templeton drinkers are and we both step forward. He lead us into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of Captain Morgan. At first I was wondering what he was doing; maybe he’d already had a few too many beers? He proceeded to pour both of us a glass and handed it over, I casually sniffed the amber liquid in my glass and smiled when I realized this really was Templeton, but not just any Templeton, it was the kind I had never had but heard legends of. The reason the owner kept this particular Templeton in a Captain bottle was because it was never meant to be sold, it’s the bootleg stuff that you only get if you know the right person! This is the kind of stuff that you would have once upon a time, had to have known the secret knock to get any.

After the highs and lows of a long day, I finally hit the hay around 12:30am only to be woken up an hour later by the sounds of frantic movements in the room next door and in the hallway. I got up to see what was going on and found the owner and one of my friends grabbing buckets and starting to bail out the furnace room. Before long, water was seeping into the basement from all the outside walls. A guest room at one end of the basement had water coming out from under the door and when we finally woke up the occupants, the room had over 2 inches of water in it! We helped the owners bail water, hall what we could up stairs or piled it up high and did everything we could to save what we could. There were several moments of “oh god, what’s the point;” but we kept going. Finally around 4am we made a make shift bed for ourselves on the floor of the lobby and got a few hours of much needed sleep. In the morning, we were glad to find that the owners and their family had gotten a little sleep as well and that the basement was free of standing water! We were all so happy we had been there to help them save their property!

Later that day, when I finally got home, I crashed quickly and slept for nearly 14 hours! We had been through so much with such little time to decompress. Oh how I loved my bed that night!

I can now say though, that my life became a lot less average after this past weekend! Oh holy buckets! If I ever say that my life is dull again, please remind me of this particular 24 hour time period; yeah that wasn’t dull or boring at all!!!!

From Time to Time

From time to time I get an itch to write and obviously I haven't had that itch for quite while since I haven't blogged anything since the beginning of the year. My friend Cellarmistress reminds me periodically that I really should write more so here you go friend! My life really hasn't become any less average but now that the monstrous amount of snow that we got this winter is gone and summer is finally here, maybe things will get better!

If you know me...at all...you know that guys are on my mind pretty much all the time! Today is no exception sadly. But lets not talk about the newest guy in my life that is sure to break my heart soon, lets talk about ALL of them!

When I was younger, I just went with the cliche that all men are jerks and only if you are lucky will you find one of the few good ones. Yes Disney warped me as a kid and I really thought my Prince Charming would suddenly fall into my lap so there really was no point in finding good in all the other guys out there. I think this may be one of the reasons I never dated much in college, I didn't believe guys could be good. Lets face it, in high school and college, I had very few guy friends and the ones I did have weren't all that close of friends or I called them a friend simply because I had a huge crush on them. The first would be Fro Boy. We will call him this because when he came to visit my freshman year in college, he had grown his white boy hair out and it looked strangely like a fro! Fro Boy and I had been "friends" since my freshman year in high school when we were in theater together. Over the course of my high school career, I crushed on him on and off mostly because he was nice to me. This may sound odd and some of my friends may wonder why I always fall for the guys that just want to be my friend. Well here's the answer, guys weren't nice to me in high school and no, I did not date.

Now, I'm not going to get into all the guys that were jerks to me; lets keep this to the good guys. So back to Fro Boy; he really was one of the good guys. We hung out all through high school and when he graduated (he was a year ahead of me) and went out of state to college, we started emailing and actually became better friends. When he was home for breaks, we spent quite a bit of time together and he even came and hung out with me and the girls I was nannying for in the summers. When I went off to college to another state, we saw each other even less but emailed even more. Midway through my freshman year, he left school and moved back home so we saw each other a bit more when I made it home. I was in a sorority in college and we had a spring formal and I needed a date so I called him up. He came down and this is sadly where our story ends and I admit, I'm to blame. How you may ask, I was a jerk. I did not pay a lot of attention to him and even went out of my way to avoid him. Why, I can't tell you, and yes I do regret my behavior that weekend. After he left on Sunday morning we only saw each other once and never really talked again. For this, I am sorry. My mom has kept me somewhat updated on him and he has gone through some pretty rough times but from what she tells me, he's doing pretty good now! I wouldn't know for myself though since he never accepted my friend request on Facebook.

In college I met another one of the good guys that we will call GI Joe. GI Joe was in the National Guard which is really the only reason I give him this name. GI Joe was there for me during my sophomore year when I was going through a lot of crap in my life. He was there for me when I sometimes felt like I had no one else. My roommates were beyond jerks, my dad went through a quadruple bypass and life in general was unexciting. GI Joe was actually dating one of my sorority sisters so I knew he was off limits which was good for me because I could only think of him as a friend. We had a standing breakfast date every M/W/F after our 8am class and lunch with my sisters and his frat brothers on a regular basis. When I invited one of his brothers to go to our semi formal in the fall, he was the one I went to at the end of the night when my date didn't seem to want to hang out with me much now that all his brothers were around at the after party at their house. My date may have decided a few days earlier though that we weren't going to go anywhere when I ran into him on campus and called him GI Joe rather than his name! Yeah, that wasn't a good move on my part but he knew we were friends and knew I was coming out of lunch with GI Joe. He never said anything about it, but I think that really bothered him. It really was an accident though! My date and I stayed acquaintances but GI Joe and I stayed pretty good friends until he graduated and we lost contact.

After college, I moved to "the big city" and after a lonely year, I joined a young professionals group and started making friends right and left. At first, I mostly hung out with the guys, which if you haven't gathered by now, was very odd for me. This is the point in my life that I started opening up my eyes to the good guys, that I now realize, are all around! Over the next few days, I'm going to focus my energies on the good guys and sharing them with you because they deserve to be shared with the world! On a selfish side, I'm hoping this will also help take my mind off of the new guy too!